Sunday, April 29, 2012

One night at the kadal center ~ Sarakku story

Written By - Sathya Sai Seetharaman

Me: “Machi poli sapadnum pola iruku da”
M: “Poli saamiyara? Yaaru da?”
Me: “Ennadhu? Dai... poli sapadnum pola irukku da”
M: “Police aaga poriya?”
Me: “Sathama pesu da”M: “Santhanam comedy a?”
*loud club music with heavy beats in the background*
I shook my head and signalled M to look at the racks of bottles, to select our drink. We were about to get wasted. We were on a cruise to Finland for the Easter holidays.

-Mozart chocolate cream blend
-Mount Gay Rum

We got excited looking at that name, for no reason and sang out loud, “Maasi Maasi, Paasi Paasi, Kaatu vaasi, Paatu vaasi”. We suddenly felt the heat of everyone’s eyes on us. We wondered why the room had gone silent. We looked puzzled at the DJ and he returned the puzzled look. We had filled the gap, when he was changing songs.
M: Ayyo asinga patome machi.
Me: Ayyo... poyum poyum indha paata paadi asinga patome machi.

Moving on, it wasn’t a night for wine tasting.
-Bacardi Mojito Classical Cocktail
M: Hmmm interesting...
Me: Lets buy it.

picture courtesy -

We bought the attractive looking, colourful bottle of Bacardi cocktail and returned to our room and started drinking. After two rounds, we decided to stroll around the other decks. We ended up in a disco floor two floors above our cabin. We joined V, some of our other friends and HSKW [getting to him shortly] who were already there. It was a salsa night and we could notice couples energetically dancing everywhere. After about an hour, as the crowd began dispersing slowly, HSKW entered the dance floor and started shaking his fists and feet violently.
Me: Machi iniku namaku oru adimai sikkitan da.
M: Ka Ka Ka Po.
We actually couldn’t make out if he was dancing there or having an epileptic seizure because of the disco lights. After a few minutes of the seizure, HSKW came back, all smiles.
HSWK: Wow, I finally got a taste of salsa.
Me: Achacho... Salsa night mudinju ara mani neram aache raja.
M: Adhu irukatum Hareesu, nee inga ukaru, un kitta mukkiyama neraya pesa vendi iruku.
HSKW: Sollunga boss.
M: Harish Sudarshan Kunnavaakam Winjamur. Indha pera passport la podradhuku un kitta extra charge vaanginangala da?
HSKW: Illaye. Adhellam vaanguvangala?
Me: Peru perusa irundha vaanguvanga da. Government ku paper selavu la?
M: Mass Mama. Apparam andha mattera kelu.
Me: Aaaan, kekanum nu nenachen, unaku eppidi ivalo periya peru vandhuchu? Peyar kaaranam varaiga.
HSKW: Actually Winjamur was in Andhra. Now it isn’t there.
Me: Athipatti mariya?
HSKW: Appidina?
M: Onnum illa da. Nee continue.
HSKW: I read in wiki page. Enga ancestors 300 years back anga irundhanga. Bad weather, storm naala Kachipuram la Kunnavaakam ngara place ku migrate aitanga.
Me: Adapaavi... Mazha penja kodaya pudichunu nikkama yenda oora vittu vandheenga?
HSKW: Inga dhan we argued about Gods.
M: Vandha edathula vaaya vechunu summa iruka mateengala da?
HSKW: Adhu illa na. Ramanujar erkanave argue pannindu irundharu. Sivan perusa Perumal perusa nu.
M: Perusu na?
HSKW: Yaaru periya kadavul nu poti vandhuchu.
Me: Adhuku eppidi extra curricular activities lam consider pannuveengala illa only academics a?
HSKW: Puriyala na.
Me: Illa da... kadasila yaaru jeyichanga?
HSKW: Naanga dhan. Ramanujar kadasi naal Perumal kiterundhe answer ketundu vandhu sollitaaru.
M: Paarra... Principal kittaye bittu vaangi pass pannirukeenga.
HSKW: Ayyo epdi solli puriya vekkaradhune theriyalaye.
Me: Adhellam venam da. Vidu. Good night.

After he went out of ear shot, we had a good laugh and decided to head back to our room and finish the Mojito cocktail. We had trouble remembering our cabin number, right from when we got in the ship. After a bit of hesitation, we opened a door, which happened to be our adjacent room's. Z our Chinese friend stood there in his night clothes, completely clueless.
M: “Sorry Z. Wrong door.” So saying, M slammed the door on Z’s face and we entered our room. The cans of beer we had earlier forced us to make a stop in the urinal.
Me: I saw 4 beer cans in Z’s room.
M: Well, that’s not good.
Me: Ghent la enna nadandhudhunu nyabagam irukka?
M: Of course. I lived next to him.
Z, well technically not him, but his stomach had problem with beer. Every time he had more than 2 cans of beer, people around him needed gas masks. One evening, when we were chilling together in the common kitchen, the topic somehow shifted to the Chinese revolution.
Z: The Chinese were so serious about the war. They invented a lot of deadly weapons. EVERY SINGLE THING THAT THE CHINESE DEVELOPED WAS TO KILL PEOPLE.
Me: Machi, avanga kandu pudicha aayudhangal la indha visha vaayuvum onnu polarku da.
M: :D :D
AL [Greek]: *to me* What did you say?
Me: Uh... Nothing serious...... Just an INSIDE joke.... you know.... about destructive weapons.

Z lived in the room between M and AL. They woke up terrorized on many nights, after hearing scary sounds from the next room. They came out of their rooms, frightened.
AL: What’s going on in the room between us?
M: I don’t know. Maybe he is testing bio-weapons for the government.

We took about four months to realise that it was beer.
Pouring our fourth round of Mojito, M opened his laptop and found that the wi-fi signal was quite good.
M: Machi semma comedy da.
Me: Enna machi achu?
M: Idha padi.
He turned his laptop screen towards me. I saw that it was his Curriculum Vitae from two years ago and read where he pointed. *Participated in Anti-Smoking campaigns*
Me: Hahahaha ayyaya asingama iruku machi. Modhalla thooku adha.
M: Dai facebook la indha poochi mandayan [Nabarin nalan karudhi peyar maatra pattulladhu] tholla thaanga mudiyala da. Pesama unsubscribe pannidava?
Me: DAI... enna kaariyam da panna paatha? Avana maari aalunga illana, kalangathala pallu kooda velakkama laptop munnala ukandhu yaara da vanda vandaya thittuvom?
M: Aaha en arivu kanna therandhu vechita machi. Nee illana nan epdi machi iruppen?
Me: Idhellam ovvoru nanbanoda kadama machi. Nan idhe maari paadha maari pona, nee enna kaapatha maatiya? Youtube la edhana paatu podu vidu. Kepom.
M searches for some time and puts on a song from a T.Rajendar movie. ‘Oru ponmaanai nan paada’
Me: Haha... Dai Amala semma comedy a dance aaduvale andha paatu dhane idhu?

After a few minutes, we didn’t know why we were talking about Rajnikanth.
Me: Machi ‘Sundari kannal oru sedhi’ song la, thalaivar yen da Harbhajan Singh mari konda vechinu vararu?
M: Baasha padam apo paakum bodhu semma getha irundhuchu. Ipo nenachu paatha konjam comedy a iruku.
Me: Dai.. yenda? Thalaivar padam da.
M: Adhula Rajni oda main adiyaal lam yaarunu paathiya? Janakaraj, Dhaamu, Kavithaalaya Krishnan. (They were actually fellow auto-drivers except Janagaraj)
Me: *thinking for some time* Dai... chi... thu... adapaavi idha nee sollamale irundhirukalam da.

There was still one round left in the bottle. The ship halted at a port that is a part of Finland. It was dark and we were drunk enough to not notice the name of the port. M checked his phone and noticed that he had missed quite some calls from home. He freaked out, thinking it could be something very important.
M: Ayyo, veetlendhu missed call paatha odane slight a erangiduchu da.
*Dials home* Mom: Hello, dai yenda call edukala?
M: Amma, naane thannila medhandhunu iruken ma.
Mom: Ennadhu?
M: Kadal la dhane iruken. Enna vishayama call paneenga sollunga.
Mom: Summa dhan da. Enga irukeenga nu kekalam nu. Akka oda papa pesara da.
M: Appidiya? Enna pesara?
Mom*on phone to baby*: Mama sollu... Mama sollu...
Baby: @$*%&^@(#*
Mom: Mama sollunga maaaa
Baby: *%#@$^
M: Hello, nan enna Thoothukudi pakathulendhu STD call a pesinu iruken? Midnight phone panni kalaikareengala? Nan nalaiku ooruku vandhu pesaren.*Cuts call* Oothu da kadaisi rounda.
The last time we were this drunk, was about two months back, on the opening week in Sweden. We had a wild party. Z got hold of a broom stick and pretended that it was his microphone. Damn... he sang all night long, jumping around on tables in the room.
J [Belgian]: You sing really well. I like you. I once had a Chinese friend. You have his eyes.
AL: Haha... I hope he’s not being racist.
Me: Sshhh... I hope you don’t get hurt.
J started dancing as Z sang.
M: Tha enna da panranunga? Idha paakaradhuku, fulla saraku adichutu mattayaidalam polarke.
And so we drank and drank and drank, until finally we passed out. We laid unconsciously on the floor, tilll the next morning.
We heard someone at the door. AL was as drunk as we were and was jabbering things like,
“What is the difference between depression and dispersion?”
“My girlfriend’s name is Linear Polarisation”
Me: Good Night AL.
M: Mudinjuduchu machi. Thoonguvom. Semma saraku la?
Me: Aama theriyya irundhuchu.
Sweden - The morning after the party.

Me*opening door*: Hey J, Good morning.
J: Hey... Why is the Chinese guy sleeping in my kitchen?....... Is he stealing my food?


Copyright of this article belongs to the author. Reproducing without permission is not entertained.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Short Story ~ Just One Night!

 Written by an award winning blogger-aspiring writer Iswarya Devi.

 Image -

 Just One Night!

It was raining heavily. Rahul had lost all his hopes by now. He had asked for accommodation at various hotels, but was turned down due to no vacancy. He had only two options left – try his luck one last time at hotel sangeetha or spend the night in the streets. It was a very bad day for him. He had come to a remote town for official purposes and was supposed to return to his hometown tonight itself. But he missed the train due to bad weather and since then he had been searching for a room for a night stay.

At hotel sangeetha, a young beautiful receptionist stood talking in her mobile.

“Hey, will call you back ok…Yes sir, may I help you?”

“I very badly need a room. Now please do not say no”

“Please wait sir. Let me check”

After few minutes,


“Oh please. This is the 11th hotel I am trying. Just check if you can do anything. Even if it is a 10x10 room I can adjust”

“Well, we have one room sir…but there is a small problem…”

“Never mind…I do not care whatever the problem is. Just give me the room keys ok. I am very tired and need to rest my legs”

“Ok sir. Here are your keys. Have a good stay!”

Rahul went to his room. It was as dirty as dirty can be. The door mat was torn. The bed cover looked like it was not changed for ages. He swore he saw a mouse running across the room. The mirror was scribbled all over. There was grease, spilled coffee, bits of paper everywhere. He spoke loudly “Don’t they have HOUSEKEEPING???”

He changed his dress to shorts. There was a very old T.V. He switched it on only to hear some static but no video. He cursed at his own fate and lied down on his bed. Precisely at that moment, he heard the bathroom door open and a young woman came out.

“Oh!! So sorry madam, I did not know you were here. I think this is the wrong room. I will vacate immediately”

“Hey…wait, do not apologize. I can understand it is not your fault. And my name is Anitha, not madam”

“Aah, sorry Anitha. I was desperately searching for accommodation. When the receptionist told me a room was available, she was about to say about some problem. But I did not care to listen to her”

“That is fine. You look like a perfect gentleman. So if you do not have any problem, we can share the room for tonight. It is just one night anyway”

Now Rahul observed her closely. She was very beautiful and had a cute oval shape face. Small hair curls that fell on her forehead added to her beauty. She was very fair, sharp eyes, pointed nose, inviting cheeks and lovely chin. He wished to move down further, but could not as she was looking at him waiting for his reply. He thought how many men get such good opportunities and he is not committed, and when this woman is ready, why should he deny. Finally he replied

“Ummm…If it is fine with you, then I also do not mind Anitha”

They lied down on the bed each facing their backs to one another. Rahul was very tired before, but now could not even close his eyes for a second. He was burning with desire to turn around and make the first move. But he forced himself to stay at that position as he was constantly reminded of being called a gentleman.

After what seemed to be hours of sleeplessness, he decided and turned back. Anitha had turned to his side by now. She was sleeping peacefully looking like a child. At this close proximity, he could not make any move towards her. All his lust had melted by now and what he felt was pure love. He was simply looking at her and went to sleep after a very long time.

He woke up the next morning and found that the time was 7:30. He turned around, but Anitha was missing.

“Oh God, I did not even get her address or phone number. How am I ever going to see her again? OK, I will return back in few days and find her and marry her” he vowed to himself.

He got ready quickly and went down to check out. The receptionist welcomed him as usual with a ready-made smile

“Hope you had a good stay sir”

“Yes sure. Thanks.”

“BTW, did you have any problem while staying?”

“Not at all, it was great. I will be coming back in few days and I prefer taking the same room”

“Hmmm…that is surprising sir”

“Why? Got any problem?”

“Well, actually sir, I was about to tell you this last night, but you were in a hurry and did not listen. There was a housekeeper called Anitha who worked here. She was very poor and could not get married because of dowry issues. One day depressed she committed suicide in the room which you stayed. Later on whenever anyone stayed in that room, we hear complaints like some lady appears in the middle of the night and fancies to stay with them…”

Rahul fell down unconscious.

The End.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Osthe - The Mass Review

Pam pam paen paparapan...

Ela.. Mass'la naanga.. Review'aiyum theme music'oda than arambippom'la...

Padathuku avanga kodutha build-up'laiye nenachen’ la review ezhutha vaippanga'nu.. Kuruvi’nu oru flop koduthaalum, Ethirum puthirum, Dhill, Dhool, Gilli edutha director Dharani’kaga thaan’la padam paakka ponen… Aaana….

Opening scene:

Oru azhagana gramam’la… Oru amma, oru appa, 2 pasanga’la.. Athula oru pullai(thambi)’ku than antha appa.. anna’nukku vera appa’la.. Ela kolapputha? Amma’ku remarriage’la.. Annan-thambi 2 perukum othuvarathu’la.. (Engaiyo ketta mathri irukka??) Appa, avarukku porantha pullaiku mattum support pannuraar.. Innoru paiyan uruppada mattan’nu solluraar.. Avar than hero’nu namakku solliya theriyanum..

Hero intro:

Few years later… Thirunelveli’la, villain(by-election contestant)’oda adiaal ellam makkalukku vote poda kaasu kodukka poittu irukaanga(entha katchi’ya irukkum??)… thideernu car tyre vedikuthu/puncture aaguthu.. oru rowdy vanthu tyre’a paakuraan.. athula oru bullet “ottitu” irukku… (bullet-proof tyre’la.. but eppadi puncture aachi’nu kekka koodathu.) Antha bullet’a eduthu paakkura rowdy appadiye shock aagi, athu antha area inspector.. athan’la periyavan aana namma hero’oda bullet’nu solraan.. (Bullet’la label ethavathu ottirupangalo’la?) Appuram..

Pam pam paen paparapan... Hero police jeap’la paranthu vanthu iranguraar’la… Appuram enna fight than.. punch dialogue than.. Hero elloraium adichi avanga vachiruntha panatha kai’patrina udana “Screenplay, Direction – Dharani” (Vazhakkama avar padathu hero ethavathu oru game’la win panninathum varum’la.. periya change thaam’la)

Final’a constables ellam varranga’la.. Athula santhanam’um varrar’la.. Hero entry’a vida avaru entrykku thaan la athiga whistle’um claps’um…

Image courtesy - Rediff

Heroine intro:

Hero rowdy’ngala thorathuthaar’la.. Appo oru veettukulla kuthikkuraaru.. Anga dress panra heroine jacket’ku “last hook” maattitu irukku.. Hero atha paathudraar.. Heroine stun aaguraanga… (Itha innum ethane padathula’la kaamipaanvo? Athuvum antha last hook maattum podumpothu thaan’la crct’a hero heroine’a meet panraar..)

Innum heroine stun aagi than nikiraanga.. Stunnu’na stunnu kittathatta 5 nimishathukku stunnu… Athuvum hook’la vacha kai’ya kooda edukkaama…

Athuvara hero ennalamo pesittu irukkar’la.. Nadula santhanam vera vanthu double meaning’la ennamo hero’ta sollitu poraar.. Final’a namma hero than thaavani/saree’ya eduthu heroine’kitta koduthu avanga maanatha(!!) kaappathuraar’la… (Nalla vela santhanam’ku heroine 5 nimisham stun aana matter theriyathu.. Illana pollathavan’la vantha oru dialog’a sollirupparu..)


Hero – villain fight.. (police story climaxla vera enna irukka mudium?) Saatharanama fight nadanthuttu irukku.. Villain shirt’a ellam kalatti pottutu sanda podraar’la… hero konjam adi vaanguraar.. appo avar thambi vanthu oru periya ragasiyatha solraar, “Namma amma thaana saagala, annae.. Ivan than konnuttaan.”

Hero pongi enthikiraar’la..

Pam pam paen paparapan...

Hero body’a murukkuraar.. Shirt kiliuthu’la… Athu mattumaa.. appadiye “therichi” parakkuthu’la… (Santhanam comedy’a vida ithuku thaam’la audience adhigama sirichanga…)

Final’a oru pam pam paen paparapan’la… Hero kills the villain’la… The end’la… Bloopers’la(Ithu vera?!?)…

Padam eppadi irukkum’nu itha ellam vachae oru idea vanthirukumae’la…!

Akkada Thukkada:

  • Ela, masala padathulu logic irukkathu sari.. Masala’vum illana enna panrathu.. At least ticket counter’la ticket’oda oru sakthi masala pocket’aavathu kodunga’la…
  • Padathula oru chinna aaruthal santhanam’um, kuthu paattum thaam’la..
  • Richa gangoo… vendam tongue rolling aaguthu… Heroine Richa fans’ku “rich”a periya aaruthal’num sollalaam..
  • Mallika Sheravat = Sana Khan 2.0
  • Azhagam perumal thavira vera yarum Thirunelveli baasha pesala… BTW avar eppovum villain’oda edupudu mathri thane irukkar.. Appuram yen police uniform’la irukkar?
  • “Naa kannadi mathri’la”nu hero sollum pothu (or) antha mathri feel pannum pothu ellam kannadi’ya kaamikiraanga.. Director’s touch… (Veru ethavathu nalla script ulla padathula use pannirukalaam, dharani sir)
  • Hero Inspector’nu sollitu fancy dress competition’la irunthu paathila odivantha oru paiyana kaamikithaan’vo. Ajith – Vijay mathri REAL mass hero panna vendiya role. Six pack vachitta mass hero’va?? Hero’va pathi solrathuku ithuku mela ethume illa’la…
  • Still wondering, “ithu Director Dharani’oda movie’a?!? Avar assistant eduthiruntha kooda itha vida better’a eduthiruppar.. Appo itha direct panninathu yara irukkum’la???


Rambam, blade ellam illa’la intha padam.. Ithu Osthe’la.. Ithu audience’a theatre varavachi panra Soora Samharam’la… Adikadi, Osthe – The Mass’nu solraanga la… MASS – MAster of Soora Samharam.

Must watch for – friends’oda theatre’la poiy galaikkira groups and movie reviewers..

- Drunken Guru

Friday, November 11, 2011

Oru Thamizh Padathai Oda Vaippathu Eppadi?

Oru Thamizh Padathai Oda Vaippathu Eppadi?

Thaatha explains to  his Peran!

ThaathaYenda peraandi aluvura?

PeranNaa entha padam produce panninalum sariya oda mattenguthu.. Ellorum pacha pachaiya galaaikka vera seiranga.. Mattama review ezhuthuranga.. Enna panrathunae theriyala thaatha?

Thaatha –  Ada kirukku bayapulla ithuka aluvura..  Thamizhana pathi padam edu da.. Ellam sari aagidum!

Peran –  Eppadi thatha?

Thaatha –  Thamizhanoda varalaaru’nu story ready pannu.. Eezha Thamizhargal pathi padathula 2 dialogues,  Thamizhan, Thamizh unarvu, Thamizhinam, Thamizh panpaadu itha pathi ellam dialogues podu..
Thamizhana garvapada vaikkira padam, “UNMAIYANA Thamizhanellorum paarattura padam’nu ad podu..
Appuram paaru… Evanavathu unn padatha pathi thappa sonna avana Thamizhina throgi’nu solvaanga!

PeranEppadi thatha unnaala mattum ithellam mudiuthu..

Thaatha –  Ithellam vachi thaan  pala varushama arasiyal’ye panrom.. Oru cinema’va otta mudiyatha??

Peran – Genius thatha nee!!!

Monday, October 31, 2011

7aum Arivu(:D) Review!

Munn kurippu:

Ennaium review ezhutha vachitanga!(Read in Mudhalvan Arjun style)

Ennai vaazha vaikkum dheivangalaagiya Thamizh makkalukku vanakkam!

Neenga kekkalaam.. Unaku ethuku da intha review ezhuthura velai ellam??

Vera padam'na paravala boss.. But ithu ovvoru Thamizhan'aium garvapada vaikkira padam aache.. Ithuku review ezhuthalana nammala Thailand-kaaran'nu solliduvaanga!

Sari matter'ku varuvom...

Theatre'ku ponathey 10 nimisham late.. Ulla enter aanathum screen'la iruntha scene'a parthuttu thappa night'u Chinese padam ethukavathu maathi ticket book pannitoma'nu oru jerk aagiruchi.. Appo thaan Bodhidarmar Surya vanthu doubt clear panninaar..

Kathai - Oru convent-educated circus'la velai paakkura hero. Avar udambula Bodhidarmar'nu many centuries back vaazhntha oru appatakkar saamiyaar'oda jeans irukuthu.. sorry.. Genes irukuthu... Antha genes'a usupethi utta Bodhidarmar'oda talent ellam vanthurum'nu ninaikiranga Thamizh'e sariya pesa theriyatha, Tamil patru ulla oru abroad-educated heroine............... *yawns* Bore adikuthu.. Indianglitz, sify, behindwoods ithula ethavathu oru site parthu kathai'a therinjikonga!

Yen intha padam neriaperukku pidikala?

"Surya'va paartha Bodhidharmar jaadai theriuthu!

Ovvoru Thamizhanai'um garvapada vaikkum!

Endhiran record'a break pannum!"

Ippadi ellam vetti pechu pesi sumaara'vaathu hit aagirukka vendiya padatha.. Kai kaasu pottu hype koduthu kandam pannitaanga!

Surya entha vithathulaiyum circus'kaarar mathri illa... Sadly, Bodhidharmar mathirium illa... Shruti'oda romance'um sari illa.. Six pack mattum kashtappattu vachirukaar.. Surya'vukku interview kodukurathula appadi enna thaan interest'o theriyala! Munna ellam TV'laium News real'laium mokka pottavar... Ithula padathukullaium athey velaiya panraar! Climax fight semma comedy!

Shruti Hassan'ku yaravathu dubbing artist Savitha number vaangi kodunga.. But avanga Thamizh'la dub panninatha kandippa paarattanum.

Villain Dong Lee'a varra Johnny Tri Nguyen kalakkirukaar!

A.R.Murugadoss - Nunalum than vaayal kedum!  Thamizhana garvapada vaikkanum'nu comedy pannittaar.. Adutha padam kandippa Gajini mathri ethavathu Hollywood movie'la irunthu "inspire"aagi thaan eduppaar (ethuku vendatha vambu?!?)!

Harris Jeyaraj - Aracha Maavu! Still "munn andhi" song romba nalla irukku! "Twinkle twinkle little star" rhymes'a copy adichi oru Chinese song pottathu ellam romba over aamam!

Padathula nalla vishayam

  • Vithyasamana concept (so?)
  • Ravi K. Chandran Camera (wasted!)
  • Shruthi'oda friend'a varra oru figure (Awww!)
  • Villain Dong Lee
  • "Romba" bore adikkama poguthu

Padathula mokka vishayam

  • Maththa vishayam ellame

Verdict - Oru dhaba paakkalam! Over hype udambukku aagathu!

Pin kurippu

Naa sathiyama Ajith,Vijay rasigano, Surya hater'oda kidaiyathu... Thamizh'la nalla cinema varanum'nu virumbura oru saatharana cinema raasigan!

Nandri! Jai Hind!

- Drunken Guru